Have you ever had a meeting with your boss and couldn’t wait until the meeting was over before it began? Hopefully you answered no, but if you answered yes, sadly I can sympathize with you.
For the past two and a half years I was living a daily nightmare. I had the kind of boss that not even Disney could vilify well enough. The kind of boss that renders you silent, because you know if you say something is white, he will retort that it is black. So the mere sight of him caused me to cringe.
You would think that two and a half years isn’t that long in terms of a job, and you’re right. You see I actually worked at this job for over five years before the structure changed and I was assigned what I can only describe as the Tasmanian Devil brought to life as a boss, my boss.
I finally put myself back on the job market, and was offered and accepted a new position, with a new company. So your probably thinking good, this writer clearly stated he was unhappy. Well it is going to take some time to develop new habits.
The problem I am experiencing now is letting go of the past. Every once in a while I feel a slight panic, then it occurs to me that Taz isn’t going to be apart of my day. I occasionally will wake in the middle of the night full of angst worried that I missed a deadline for a report or my projections are amiss , then realize I no longer work for that previous company. It’s like waking up from a nightmare and grasping that it wasn’t real. I tell myself, you never have to go back there.
I don’t want to give the impression that I was a glutton for punishment and stayed at this job completely miserable for no reason. Although I knew I was getting a very unpopular boss. I stayed because I thought I couldn’t replace the essentials like, PTO and salary. I was worried I would take a new position making the same or less money and less vacation time. Although I was fortunate not to lose any vacation time and in fact make more money, but in hind sight I have to ask myself was it worth staying and waiting so long. No it wasn’t. time is a very precious commodity.
Sometimes you cannot see the forest for the trees. Is the $1 more an hour worth the sleepless nights? Is the extra week off worth all the stress that causes you to call in sick more than you would have ever planned. It isn’t and I can attest to this.
As I allow myself to get to a point where I know it is okay to celebrate accomplishments at work, I slowly let go of the sour puss. As I accept that my contributions at work are valued, I increasingly begin to smile a little more often and a little wider. I find that I am genuinely excited to wake up and start my day lately.
Yes its okay to be happy at work.